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I miss you so much. I miss your warmth. Holding you in my arms while… - Courtney [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Courtney

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[Mar. 1st, 2005|09:56 am]
Courtney
I miss you so much. I miss your warmth. Holding you in my arms while I'm falling asleep. I miss feeling your breath on my neck. Hope your having fun on your cruise baby. <3<3<3

Today was intersesting.

I worked with my brother...got paid...hehe...saw the blonde girl from Better Than Chocolate shopping in the grocery store with my brother. I said "Gregg, she looks really familiar, who is she?" He looked and he said "Oh, Cristina Lecox (or something like that), we passed on her a couple years ago right after she did this movie Better Than Chocolate, she was too dykey." I fucking flipped my shit "WHAT???????" "Knock knock Gregg, you KNOW Im a lesbian, why wouldn't you think that I've only watched that movie like twice a week for the past three years?" Anyways...she was beautiful, smoking hot!!! She was wearing exercise clothes, really tight and her cleavage was sticking right out of her sports bra. She has the best body, six pack abs, nice big tight ass, big tits. Her face...even more beautiful than in the movie. When she wasn't looking I was like staring. Ok...I've been coming here for years, I'm not star-struck anymore. Everyone takes a shit or two. But I was amazed when I saw her. Ahhhhhh.... :)

Then...drama. I salvaged what I could. I'm not flipping super woman. I try, but I'm not. People will think what they want. I can just be the best person I can be for me. I can't be someone else's idea of the best person. Whatever. I won't stoop to that level. I don't talk shit about other people like that. AND I don't sit around a computer intentionally trying to hurt anyone. It's not cool. I'm done with it.

The reality is...I will be gone soon, those of you that are excited about that will get what you want soon enough. I'll miss my girls...I'll miss my true friends sooooo...much. Thanks for sticking by me. You'll always have a place with me in LA and in my heart.

I think that's all there is for today.
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: nicobleu
2005-03-03 07:19 pm (UTC)
there is absolutely nothing i can say that you will believe...so i feel lost...but thye reality is...whatever goes (went) on btwn you and me...is between you and me....

regardless of conflict in my life...you KNOW i am honest and try to live with integrity....

i know you and i arent freinds....but we went thru ALOT together...deep shit...(a connection i thought was lifelong...)..and i feel that if I am upset it is justified....
but if anyone else is...not so much..
with KK....i simply said that if she was going to talk about you...it should be to your FACE....may be that was wrong...whatever...


i can only do what i do as well little C...

as for intentionally hurting...you definately were gunning for me on that one entry...very intentional...

and it was hurtful..

i wish we could walk away from this happy that we had met...and that we learned from each other...but it seems impossible...
whatever...the point is....i don.t care about now...i told you once...you were my 1st friend is g.ville...and you mean alot...

if we are never to speak again...iw ill still cherish those times...

i have a right to be mad/ hurt/ upset/ whatever....

but that is MY right....and all i am trying to say is...
it is btwn you and i....(even though there is nothing...you know waht i mean....)

as said...you prob. won.t believe me....but this my best shot at being the best veronica there is...
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[User Picture]From: happynlucky
2005-03-03 09:15 pm (UTC)
Veronica...everything would have been fine if you had never talked bad about me to Kristin and Sarah, but you so obviously did. THEN when I asked you to please stop, you sat around a computer with your little friends and had the nerve to encourage Kristen to write something really hurtful. You did mean alot to me Veronica....but I can't respect that. How can you expect me to? I can't believe you would go through such great lengths to hurt me and/or my reputation. People believe what they want...most people want to believe something bad about someone they're jealous of or feel rejected by. I can't control either of those feelings that other people have. My friends know me and they know what kind of person I am. I AM FUCKING PROUD to be me. I don't need people in my life trying to drag me down. FUCK THAT. I don't deserve that. I won't sit around and let myself be exposed to things you, kristin, and sarah repeatedly write about me that make me feel upset...so the next time that you do...I won't be reading. So maybe you won't.
Really veronica...all I wanted was to be able to trust you like you always said I could...but its so obvious that I can't.
When you talk about me...it gets back to me...and I'd rather not have to feel like shit. Isn't that understandable???
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