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Courtney

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So this is it... [Feb. 18th, 2005|04:26 pm]
Courtney

The Pope, Republicans
Circle I Limbo

Anne Coulter
Circle II Whirling in a Dark & Stormy Wind

Bill O'Reilly
Circle III Mud, Rain, Cold, Hail & Snow

Osama bin Laden
Circle IV Rolling Weights

Saddam Hussein
Circle V Stuck in Mud, Mangled

River Styx

George Bush
Circle VI Buried for Eternity

River Phlegyas

GW Bush
Circle VII Burning Sands

the religious right
Circle IIX Immersed in Excrement

Andi
Circle IX Frozen in Ice

Design your own hell

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"California, I'm coming home..." [Feb. 17th, 2005|11:26 am]
Courtney
I'm leaving next Saturday to go to Cali for spring break. I'm staying with my brother and sister in law and neice for the week. I'll be renting a car as well...which will be a first for me (driving in LA). Driving is kinda scary there. Tying things up before the actual move in a couple months. This is the last time I'll be there before I hop on I-10 armed with my stuff and my spirit and drive out.

Feeling slightly contemplative today.

It's only 11:30 am...and I've been busy.

I'm not going to ADV today since it's the class after our test. Bed...that's where I'll be. Perhaps trying to defeat the evils in Mario Sunshine.

Oooh...and I think I'm actually going out tonight. Haven't done that in weeks. Busy...heh...

Hmmm...Last night was fun. I met the kids at Happy Hour...me, Linds, Summmer, SarahN, Brandi, Megan, Lexi
Me, Summer, and Sarah attempted to be triplets...it didn't really turn out that way though. I have to say...it is interesting when three girls attempt to dress alike and end up looking so different. Interpretation is an interesting thing. Still...we all looked quite spiffy...if I do say so myself (and I do).

Okay...well ta-ta!
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Errrrrrrr [Feb. 15th, 2005|04:01 am]
Courtney
Ok so I just spent the entire day studying for this test, finished, aced it, and I get this email that I have to go to the stadium blackbox at 6:00 to rehearse a scene...and I'm not so happy, because for some reason, all I wanted to do was go get a vanilla milkshake at ben and jerrys, go home, and play mario sunshine in my bed.

Errrr...

But now, I have to go home, get my script, read over it a couple times, and go to the blackbox.

Hopefully I'll get to go out or something tonight. I need a fucking break. My brain hurts. (If that's possible)

So V-day ended up being ok, even though we were both pissy because we had to study. New things. Hehe...
(Ash- ;))

Ok anyways...my dad is finally returning the money he borrowed from me tomorrow. YAY! Party time, excellent!!!

So something about this entry makes me feel all warm and fuzzy and shit...if my life became all about reading scripts and going to rehearsals AND that was my biggest problem...I would be one happy diva. OK...I have to say that I would fucking love that shit...fingers crossed...if you know me, you know what the fuck I'm talking about.

Peace Bitches!
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"Had some time to find myself..." [Feb. 12th, 2005|09:24 pm]
Courtney
Really good weekend so far.
Thought alot.
Laughed alot.
My neice is THE cutest little girl ever (duh...she looks like me...haha...jk...buuuuut really...anyways...)
Went to Butterfly World today. Total review of my very favorite class ever...The Insects (ENY)...oh yes...I can now be at peace with myself...I have seen an iradescent lepidoptera.
So came to the conclusion that I don't have all the answers, but I'm going to keep on truckin' in the same direction as I've been going in.
Been thinking about you all weekend.
Miss you.
Tonight I got drunk before dinner and by the time dinner was over, I felt nauseas. I went to Kerbear's to take part in this really fucking cool covert mission to get her parent's gifts out of their neighbor's house. Weirdness. Ryan is fucking funny as hell. (Is hell funny? Has anyone ever been there?)
Anyways...I'm busy making a cd for S.O.V.S.
xoxo...Happy early vagina day!!!
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Heh... [Feb. 11th, 2005|10:13 pm]
Courtney

LJ Friends Meme by coolerq

• You must tell 9 people about this game.
Ashley is the one that you love.
Lindsey is one you like but can't work out.
• You care most about Evan.
Summer is the one who knows you very well.
Sarah is your lucky star.
Slide is the song that matches with Ashley.
Fire and Rain is the song for Lindsey.
New Slang is the song that tells you most about YOUR mind.
• and If it isn't her is the song telling you how you feel about life
Take this quiz
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(no subject) [Feb. 11th, 2005|06:40 pm]
Courtney
Maybe I should explain...maybe I shouldn't have to explain myself.

Feeling like feelings (no matter what they are) are dangerous.

At least I've been honest. At least I said what was on my mind.

It bothers me too.

And maybe I have very little control over myself, over my own thoughts. That's a scary thing. But it makes sense. The reason for my anxiety attacks, the reason for my oversensitivity, the reason for blowing up at people. It's all related.

I'm not trying to hurt anybody...especially not you. You've all been there for me and I want to be there for all of you. I would never intentionally hurt the people I care about.

Please know that.

Please know that my ambivalence doesn't make me evil. It doesn't equal betrayal. It doesn't mean that I don't care about you or don't want to be with you.

Do what you feel is best for you.

I will be there for you no matter what you decide. I still <3 you.
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(no subject) [Feb. 10th, 2005|02:14 pm]
Courtney
I'm tired of always feeling shitty about my past. Fuck it all and fuck you and you and you. Why can't I feel good about things in my life that are good? Why do I only feel bad...always. Fuck that...It isn't worth it.

I need to learn to be nicer to myself and this is the first step I am going to take.

End the abuse. I swear...somebody needs to wear a fucking ribbon for me. Heh...

I had the weirdest dream last...I was coming out again, except this time, everyone was pissed. (In reality...I probably had the easiest coming out ever). Anyways...it was probably just because I feel so guilty about Ashley's process (that hasn't really even begun yet).

Ok this is a really fucking risque entry because people are going to read this and be mad...but fuck that...it's honest...and honesty is a beautiful thing. Maybe. (Parts from the aforementioned statements were deleted to protect the innocent and not hurt the guilty as much as I might want to right now)

And Ashley and Lindsey and Sarah rock my world. You are my world. I love you guys!!! I don't know what I would have done without you to come home to after I was brought far far away to be fucked over this past weekend.

Tomorrow I have to go home...the fam is coming from out of town. My neice, Jordy, is coming too. I fucking can't wait. She's so cute. My brother sent my pictures of her from last weekend and I thought it was me. She looks so much like me at that age. So funny! I can't wait to pick her gorgeousness up and give her the biggest hug ever. (I know...I'll try not to squish her)

BUT I'll miss you guys...I'll miss gville. I can't believe I'm going to be permanently leaving in a couple months. I don't know how I'll deal.
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(no subject) [Feb. 8th, 2005|11:17 am]
Courtney
There's nothing that compares to watching movies in my bed with Ashley, Lindsey, and Sarah. It feels like home. :) I <3 U Girls!!!

I finally got the movie I ordered off Ebay like a month ago. Ebay's great, but I'm way too technologically retarded to use it properly. I'm already flagged because I ordered three of the same item by mistake and I only paid for one. I only wanted one. WTF would I want with three of the same items? And it's so easy to make that mistake because all you have to do is be retarded enough to think that you haven't already ordered it, so you click the order spot again. Errrr...no no, this kid's gotta stick with going to best buy for her dvd needs.

But it was a good movie..."Show Me Love"....so cute!

Sat at Maude's yesterday with Lindsey- talking and studying and LWording (DONT ASK). Good conversation...I feel good about the end result. We agreed with each other. It's understandable. Then Ashley came in to give me THE best love letter EVER! I think I was fully blushing (and giggling) for an hour. I'm going to write her back today. She's so fucking cute- she walked in all "Bette-ified." ;)

You know you've played to much Nintendo when your trying to kick Wario's ass in your dreams. Fo Real dawg.
It happened. Ok...well I've got places to go and people to kiss....Holla!
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Reflection [Feb. 6th, 2005|09:29 pm]
Courtney
Sometimes things don't turn out quite like you expect...and it's sad. I thought I'd get away and clear my mind...but it hasn't been this cloudy in months. I thought I had it all figured out...and I have to remind myself that every time you think that, you realize you just don't know shit. Wow...I have alot of shit to work on...that's what this weekend was...it was a wake-up call.

BUT I did manage to have some fun before heading into the forest of no return. Ate really good food. Saw some nice (and not so nice) tatas. Drank Hurricanes and Hand Granades. Had a beignet. Gumbo. Stood on a balcony on Bourbon. Stood under several. Got beads. Yada yada...

Laying low for a while I think.
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Truckin' [Feb. 5th, 2005|02:11 am]
Courtney
I'm leaving at butt-crack of dawn tomorrow to head to New Orleans. Very excited!

Just finished packing.

Hope everything goes as planned.

I'll miss you Ashley. No drunken hook-ups, I promise. I <3 U LOTS!!!

Everyone else...I'll bring you back some shiny beads...ooooh aaaah.




"Busted, down on Bourbon Street, set up, like a bowlin' pin. Knocked down, it gets to wearin' thin. They just won't let you be."
-G Dead
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